Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss

If all it takes to achieve bliss is to eat the Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss bar, then I’m staying home and eating nothing but these natural and artificial flavored bars. But really, after trying them, I doubt that these bars have the ability to give someone any amount of bliss. Even if it could, it would end up being like a vibrator, it would satisfy you for a while, but eventually you’re going to need something real.

Speaking of being real, these Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss bars lack some of that in its ingredients. Each bar is made up of multigrain cereal, bran flakes, rice cereal, raspberry flavored fruit pieces, and partially dipped in what I’m now calling, I Can Believe It’s Not Chocolate, or as the packaging says “chocolatey.”

Not chocolate, “chocolatey.”

To explain “chocolatey,” I’m going to refer to a comment for The Impulsive Buy’s review of the Kellogg’s Special K Chocolatey Delight cereal from my favorite female candy expert, “Partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil + cocoa processed with alkali + cocoa = “chocolatey.†There’s no cocoa butter in there to make it chocolate.”

Its overall taste was not bad. The “raspberry flavored fruit pieces” made the bar taste like raspberry jujubes. The chocolatey part of the bar didn’t seem to add anything, since the raspberry is what stood out. For a bar that claims to be healthy, it would’ve been nice of Kellogg’s to keep it real by including actual dried raspberries in it, or at least a coupon for a free lap dance, because I think that’s the only thing that would make up for it.

Another thing that bothered me was that in the nutrition facts it claimed to have zero trans fats, but if you read the ingredients list and look at the footnotes, there’s a line that says “Less then 0.5 g trans fat per serving” thanks to the partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil. Each bar weighs less than an ounce (0.77 ounces) and is 3.5 inches long and one inch wide, which is great for people trying to portion control and lose weight, but bad for people who are hungry or guys insecure about their junk.

Overall, I think the Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss bars are like Playboy Playmates, they seem good at first glance, but deep down you know there was some tricks involved. With the Bliss bars, it’s the raspberry flavored fruit pieces and the chocolatey dipping. With the Playboy Playmates, it’s Photoshop.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 90 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 4% iron, 10% vitamin B6, and zero grams of bliss.)

Item: Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss
Price: $3.00 (on sale, six-pack)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: 90 calories per bar. Decent tasting. Bars are small for those who want to control portions. Coupons for lap dances.
Cons: No bliss from eating bars. Ingredients list is kind of scary. 0.5 grams of trans fat. Raspberry flavored fruit pieces not actual raspberries. Chocolatey not chocolate. Not much in vitamins and minerals. Bars are small for hungry people. Chocolatey doesn’t add to the bar. Being insecure about your junk.

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