REVIEW: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)


Bath & Body Works Signature Collection Body Wash for Men (Noir, Citron and Ocean)

When it comes to ogling young female customers and employees, getting close enough to smell them or maybe accidentally bumping into them at a shopping mall, Bath & Body Works is the third best store to do so. It’s right behind Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21.

Although it lacks lingerie, which the other two have, what places Bath & Body Works in the top three is the fact they’re the only one of the three that has a men’s section, which unlike the other two, gives men a good reason to enter the store. But it’s extremely small and I believe it’s only there to lure men into using the product testers so that the women in the store can use their sense of smell to detect if a possible pervert is nearby attempting to smell or bump into them.

Recently, Bath & Body Works added a line of signature collection men’s products, which include colognes, body sprays and body washes. The line consists of four scents: Noir, Citron, Ocean and Oak. Because the female Bath & Body Works employee I was ogling said she liked the Noir, Citron and Ocean scents the most, those were the ones I purchased in body wash form.

The same employee was also my cashier and I have to say it was fastest anyone has ever rang me up. There was no asking me if I need lip balm or if I want to sign up for their mailing list. I guess I should ogle the cashier whenever I buy stuff from Best Buy, so they won’t offer me their product protection plan.

The body wash’s bottle is the same 10-ounce one the women’s body wash come in, except instead of a pretty chrome cap, it comes with a manly black cap screwed on top. Thanks to the sodium lauryl sulfate, the body washes lather up really nice. Each body wash also contains aloe vera and nourishing oils, so if you hate feeling like your body isn’t completely rinsed off, I’d suggest not wasting your money on these men’s Bath & Body Works body washes just so that you can ogle and flirt with a Bath & Body Works employee.

Their fragrances aren’t nearly as strong as those from Axe, but they also don’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy. Their scent lingered on my body for around 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. On the Bath & Body Works website they list the key fragrance notes I should be smelling with each variation. Citron has crisp bergamot, sage, lemon zest, brisk woods, tonka bean and sandalwood; Ocean has bergamot, cypress, nutmeg, patchouli, cedarwood and vetiver; and Noir has sage, coriander, cardamom, white vanilla, vetiver and amber musk.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t know what half of that stuff is, so let me break it down using words I don’t have to look up on Wikipedia.

Citron has a light, citrus fragrance with a little bit of spice. It’s a crisp, pleasant scent and probably my favorite of the three. Ocean has a sweet, slightly fruity odor and I think it’s more of a unisex scent than a manly one. Noir is the most manly smelling of the bunch. It’s a bold, musky scent I imagine James Bond would wear. It’s also bold enough to be the best scent to help female Bath & Body Works shoppers sense when a perv is trying to get close to them.

Item: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)
Price: $10.50 each
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works (Mall of America)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Noir)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Citron)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Ocean)
Pros: Pleasant, non-overpowering scents. Lathers nicely. Not tested on animals. Doesn’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy like Axe does. Scent lingers on body for about 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. Not getting asked by the cashier to sign up for mailing lists or if I’m interested in buying additional products.
Cons: Almost twice the price as regular men’s body washes. Noir’s scent can help Bath & Body Works shoppers know when a perv is getting close. Oils in the body wash makes it feel like you haven’t completely rinsed everything off. Getting kicked out of Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21. Not knowing what bergamot, brisk woods, tonka bean, cypress, patchouli, vetiver and amber musk is.

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